Etiquettes & Manners

“Etiquette tells one which fork to use. Manners tell one what to do when your neighbor doesn’t.”

Etiquettes and manners are both critical to the normal functioning in the society. While both involve specific norms of behaviour, they are slightly different from each other. Both etiquettes and manner vary from culture to culture as the foundations for conduct are deeply rooted on cultural tradition and heritage.

Manners involve general behavioral guidelines speaking to elders with respect and courtesy whereas etiquettes are specific codes of behaviour pertaining to a particular situation.

People are typically taught manners at a very young age so that as they grow up, they are used to the basic rules in conduct in an in social situations. Manners often become second lesson when they are taught at a young age. 

For learning etiquettes people must take specific lessons. For example, rather than learning general rules about how to behave at a dinner(i.e., manner) someone would learn specifically about which silverware to use and when, how to politely dispose of undesirable food items (i.e., etiquettes).  Learning etiquettes involves training on how to deal with introductions and how to behave in numerous environments, from funeral to shooting parties. Formal training in etiquettes can be obtained through finishing schools.

One of the main differences between etiquettes and manner is that the former includes specific rules of conduct while the later is more generalized. Both rely on basic underlying principles including treating people with respect, being sensitive to social situations.

However, one cannot learn etiquettes without being schooled in good manners initially. Good manners lay the foundation stone for the rules of etiquettes.

Knowledge of etiquette and manners is never wasted. Someone with an awareness of manners and formal etiquette will be remembered, and this may come to his or her advantage in the future.   

The meaning of etiquettes and manners has been well-summarized in the following lines:

 “If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,

Five things observe with care:-

Of whom you speak – to whom you speak,

And how – and when – and where.”

            (From Little House on the Prairie)